Jaysun-Jaysun! :) I just wanted to let you know that our phone in the dorm room has died. Until I buy another one or fix it, I guess we can talk on here, yes? :) Sorry bout the inconvenience. Anyway, tell me about school/life/asian-ness.
These are the classes I'm taking now: Humanities 324 (blah), German 351 (yay), Film Appreciation (big yay), Multimedia 151 (video stuff), and Multimedia 222 (Flash).
My Grandparents are moved down to Chapel Hill now and Bryce is in China. We've had a little snow here but it's all melted now (haven't missed any class yet). I've been playing Tron 2.0 on my computer because I got more memory on my computer now. It's pretty sweet.
Hope I can talk to you again soon. I'll let ya know when I have a phone!
"Please Hear What I'm Not Saying" (author unknown)
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature to me,
but don't be fooled.
For God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface
is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies no confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
I don't like to hide.
I don't like to play superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me,
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the bland stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,
very feeble wings,
With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
Who am I, you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet,
and I am every woman you meet.
schadenfreude [n. SHAW-den-froy-duh] Taking malicious satisfaction in another person's troubles is schadenfreude. Even though there may be some guilt involved, this noun comes in handy when someone feels glee or gloats over another person's suffering. Example: "She had a feeling of schadenfreude when the boy who dumped her was unable to find a date for the prom."
Sometimes capitalized, schadenfreude is a compound of two German words: schaden (damage) and freude (joy). Although this word was in use in the German language early in the 19th century, its first appearance in English is thought to be 1895.
Kitaro is coming to Taipei to perform! Remember the CD you burned for me? If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't know who Kitaro is.
Hey there! I'm going to the beach for two days. Things have been going fine here. Don't know where to start. Hot and humid as usual. Anyway, I'll post more stuff when I'm not sharing the computer. (sigh) I'll survive! (I hope so.)
Tell me about the new semester.
Heya! What's goin on, summer school girl? Tried sending you the Quote page I did again, but I think I'll just upload it to my website so you can see what it looks like.
I just wanted to post so you know I'm still alive lol. I finally got to go to Asheville this past weekend, which is why I wasn't here when you called. We went downtown for the big street festival and also hiked a little bit in the mountains. I finally got to see Alex again, and I managed to escape getting poison ivy. All in all, a good weekend!
By the way, any last suggestions on what digital camera I should buy? I'm probably going to get it this weekend.
Hope to talk to ya soon, Asian Sensation! heh